so far being home i have
1. gotten really tan
2. rewatched seasons 1 and 2 of skins
i did a shit load of other stuff but clearly these are the two most important
>>waiting for my dad to go to sleep so i can sit in front of the tv and eat ice cream out of the container………. fat girl problems. jk i weigh 95 pounds but still…………not ok
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of course the weird kid with the greasy hair who was in love with me all of high school now grew up to be one of the hottest people i have ever seen in my life but of course i HAD to be a bitch to him and reject him every single time and now he hates me and yeah pretty much my life.
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the more i think about studying abroad next year the more scared i become. what if i don’t like it? what if i feel lost? what if i don’t fit in and no one likes me? what if i bomb all my classes and spend all my time getting trashed in pubs with british guys who are not as good-looking as i imagine them to be and probably have bad teeth and don’t shower? obviously these are all stupid fears and i will (probably) have the greatest three months of my life but i think what i’m really scared of is what i’m leaving behind. and the fact that me leaving is ruining the possibility of starting something with you. and for some reason any foreign city and any amount of handsome british men and legal drinking and culture and once-in-a-lifetime experience just seems to be a bittersweet replacement of what i could have with you.
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